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Mayyhem
Member
(11-09-2017, 02:53 AM)
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So this past Saturday I woke up to my mother screaming on the phone because she received a call from my Fathers friend/coworker that he had fallen through a hole on a roof and was on his way to the hospital.

Long story short he is lucky to be alive, but he fell onto a piece of plywood that was covering a 2 foot hole and that somewhat broke his fall. He broke his back, some ribs, sternum, shoulder, and hit his head. Luckily there was very minor bleeding in the brain that they said would get absorbed and nothing would be required to be done head-wise. He had a major surgery on his back and two rods were installed and bone pieces removed to stabilize his back. Doctors were in awe that his injuries were not far worse and very impressed with how good his recovery has been. Recently they finished the last surgical intervention which was his shoulder and a minor surgery. Multiple CT scans and MRIs later, he is completely okay, moving all of his limbs and has tremendous amounts of strength and energy already. They plan on holding him for another week to recover and start doing light physio.

Finally today they removed the breathing tube because he is breathing on his own and he is now able to speak to us. It was tough seeing him because he is completely not himself. He was rambling on and on and clearly very paranoid. He wanted to go home, did not like his nurse and had absurd ideas in his head about what they were doing to him. I tried for half an hour to get through to him with different tactics but nothing worked and I left to let him to rest because his rants would cause his blood pressure to go up.

I understand this must be due to the insane amount of drugs hes been on, coupled with the anesthesia and overall trauma.

Have any of you dealt with this type of situation before? How do I calm him and make him understand that they need to keep doing what they are doing and monitoring him and he needs to rest so he can recover. It was honestly like speaking to an obnoxious drug addict or drunk person. I hope this is not a sign of some damage to his brain or anything trauma related to the brain and his personality does not change after healing.

Any advice for dealing or helping a person in this state would be greatly appreciated. This has been a major shock, we were incredibly close to losing him and I am so happy he is doing okay health wise - but its tough to see him when he is clearly not himself and desperately trying to go against what is clearly advised for good reason.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
(11-09-2017, 03:02 AM)
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I went through something similar earlier this year. I can't tell you how to deal with it because I really couldn't.


all i can say is just try and be there with him and make it as comfortable as possible if you are able. i personally felt helpless and i know the feeling you have.

i'm glad he's on a path to recovery, just be thankful for that, as much as you can.
AlfonzoPalutena
Member
(11-09-2017, 03:31 AM)
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Originally Posted by davepoobond

I went through something similar earlier this year. I can't tell you how to deal with it because I really couldn't.


all i can say is just try and be there with him and make it as comfortable as possible if you are able. i personally felt helpless and i know the feeling you have.

i'm glad he's on a path to recovery, just be thankful for that, as much as you can.

In your case was the personality shift a long term thing? Did the afflicted person eventually regain their old personality?
Vincent Alexander
Member
(11-09-2017, 03:38 AM)
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I'm really happy to hear he is alive, OP. My friend in college received a call one day that his father had passed away from falling off a roof just the same as yours. It was sudden, he hit his head, and it was over. No one got a chance to tell him they love him, or hear it back, and just like that his father was gone. It was rough. I don't have any good advice for you, but I truly am happy he is alive.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
(11-09-2017, 03:45 AM)
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Originally Posted by AlfonzoPalutena

In your case was the personality shift a long term thing? Did the afflicted person eventually regain their old personality?

He passed unfortunately. But the same sort of things were happening while he was in bed. Itís most certainly the drugs/trauma
evil ways
Member
(11-09-2017, 03:50 AM)
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My father in law went through something similar, yet nowhere near as fatal. He was high up on a ladder and stretched his leg back thinking he was already near the floor, but had 3 more steps to go, so he fell backwards into the pavement, hitting his head.

He finally woke up a few hours later on an hospital bed, sobbing and crying uncontrollably. Luckily there was no serious damage, but he was loopy and uncoordinated for a few days. Sometimes it's the meds, the trauma or a combination of both. Best advice is not to baby him or make him feel useless or weak during his recovery, but do offer your support and help.
SonicXtreme
Member
(11-09-2017, 03:52 AM)
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i have had similar situation with relative recently and they recovered. i was worried of the brain damage because of similar experiences with them rambling and 'out of it' for days after 'waking', but she recovered well, just took lots of time. i hope you have the same experience. all you can really do is be there for him as much as you can. providing an ear so he feels he is being listened to by somebody even if it's nonsensical, and a hand to hold is the priceless best thing you can do. best of luck, friend
Joei
Member
(11-09-2017, 04:10 AM)
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Your father acting that way could be a mix of hospital delerium which happens after a person stays there a while, on top of of the drugs they're giving for pain management. It'll go away and the best you can do is make sure he's getting sleep at night, awake during the day, try and get him out the room if you can in terms of a wheelchair if staff won't allow you to walk with him. Imagine staying cooped up in a little room with people coming in and out all day, being in pain meds, and just feeling out of it. I'm sure the nursing staff is doing their part to help him recover, but I'm not sure how it goes on at all hospitals. And don't get frustrated or take it personally, reorient as best you can and stay positive. I offer this advice as a registered nurse who works on a hospital floor and deals with patients like this often.

Maybe you can talk with the nursing staff or physicians who are working with him to get a clearer idea on whether this is delerium or an acute process from the head trauma. Seek them for advice if possible and see what they'll allow you to do.
rockinreelin
Member
(11-09-2017, 04:14 AM)
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Originally Posted by Mayyhem


Finally today they removed the breathing tube because he is breathing on his own and he is now able to speak to us. It was tough seeing him because he is completely not himself. He was rambling on and on and clearly very paranoid. He wanted to go home, did not like his nurse and had absurd ideas in his head about what they were doing to him. I tried for half an hour to get through to him with different tactics but nothing worked and I left to let him to rest because his rants would cause his blood pressure to go up.

I understand this must be due to the insane amount of drugs hes been on, coupled with the anesthesia and overall trauma.

The abnormal behavior is most likely to do with the pain medications they are given him. You can ask the doctor to lower the dosage but that depends on the severity of his injuries.
DiscoJer
Junior Member
(11-09-2017, 04:15 AM)
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I went through this with my father this summer. He got sick with pneumonia, went to the hospital and during his stay developed numerous other problems, first with choking on a sandwich and going to ICU.

He'd argue with the nurses. He wouldn't walk and eventually developed bed sores. Then they had to operate on the bed sores because they didn't heal. Then they discovered the root cause was colon cancer and died the next day after discovering the cancer (it had spread all over).

He wanted to come home half the time, even though he literally couldn't walk. Other times he'd get depress and say he wanted to die. I had to constantly dead with social workers who thought he was just malingering and/or senile.

Which pissed me off when they finally realized he had cancer and was the cause of his weakness I mean, damn, he was in the hospital for nearly two months and you finally figure out he has cancer when he's literally dying?

Anyway, the trouble is that hospitals are just horrible places. Especially as a patient. They don't treat you like a person,t hey treat you like a piece of meat (or perhaps vegetable). They never use your name, it's always "Sweetie" or "Dear" or "Honey". They rarely explain things because the people doing things don't know what's going on. It's dehumanizing, you feel helpless and trapped and isolated, because you probably don't ever see a friend or relative, except maybe an hour or two a day. They are loud, you can't ever sleep. And it's boring, nothing to do but watch awful TV. (Get him a tablet if you can)
The_blonde_and_blue
Member
(11-09-2017, 04:30 AM)
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I went through this exactly a few years ago. My dad fell from 40-45ft, and is lucky to be alive.

Honestly the first week is the worst. My dad was also paranoid, fearful, and not quite himself. He also wanted to go home ASAP (but he's always been untrusting of doctors). We just had to stay by his side as much as we could, dismiss the crazier notions, and make it abundantly clear that he probably would not recover if he did not stay in the hospital for a bit. It also took a bit to find the "right" dosage of meds.

Make sure he sticks with the physical therapy too. It is a necessity.

My dad has made a pretty amazing recovery. He can perform a normal job now that requires lifting, walking and other physical activity, which honestly is amazing. He still has lingering issues, and needs a cane on bad days, but the fact that he's where he is now is pretty amazing.
Hoya Destroyer
Member
(11-09-2017, 05:09 AM)
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Im glad to hear your Dad is physically ok, OP. I can only hope he has a good mental recovery too.
Im sorry to hear yours didnt make it, DiscoJer. Hospital life sounds terrible.
gohepcat
False Equivalency Minister
(11-09-2017, 05:34 AM)
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The single piece of advice I can give you about the paranoia is to comfort him but donít correct him. Try not to take an adversarial stance. Itís not his fault that heís not thinking straight. In my small experience with my wife it was the pain medication that made her super emotional.

Also take care of yourself. Try to get the right amount of sleep try to eat right. You can make things harder if youíre not feeling OK. You are going through this also so donít feel like you have no right to take a little time for yourself
Dr.Guru of Peru
played the long game
(11-09-2017, 06:00 AM)
Heís had a brain injury and is just starting to be weaned off his sedatives. This is fairly normal and will take time to improve. Heíll likely have a long road to recovery ahead of him, so be prepared for that.
Helen Keller the Musical
Junior Member
(11-09-2017, 06:44 AM)
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I know this may not be so helpful but was your father not wearing a safety gear like a retractable lanyard?

For us itís required for working with heights greater than 6 feet.
the210
Member
(11-09-2017, 07:09 AM)
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My mother had bleeding on the brain. She was fine after her first operation but had a re-bleed the next day. When she woke up from the second operation she was paranoid and could not remember me or my brother. Sometimes she would think we were our dad who we haven't seen since we were toddlers. She did remember my wife which was weird. She would tell her the nurses were trying to kill her and that the equipment in the room was spying on her. It took a week for the hospital to give her psychotropic meds which helped the paranoia. It took a couple of weeks to get her back to a decent mental state and months of rehab to walk, write and speak better. Her short term memory is poor now but she is great considering.
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
(11-09-2017, 07:39 AM)
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I'm glad your father is doing physically well as well...As someone with elderly parents who always seem too grumpy, I try to be very patient with them...let him vent for a while, after a while just direct the conversation to pleasant old memories of you and him. If that doesn't change his mood, maybe try to distract him with his favorite TV show.

As much as you feel it's very important to explain and insist him to take his meds, please try not to get in any kind of argument with him, while his mind is in that state.
FIREKNIGHT2029
Member
(11-09-2017, 09:11 AM)
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I'm glad your dad survived and on his way to recovery.

I've never been through anything like this before but I can imagine it's a horrible experience to watch someone you love in a situation like that.

Sorry about your dad DiscoJer.
LoremIpsum
Junior Member
(11-09-2017, 01:06 PM)
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My dad had a car accident once, and broke his leg in NINE FUCKING PLACES!
The recovery was very very tough, and my mother helped him A LOT. Now he is almost perfect!

Try to give him stuff to to while he's on bed, maybe a 3DS oh some books!

Cheers!
aaronsan
Member
(11-09-2017, 01:52 PM)
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Mayyhem I am so terribly sorry for what happened to your father. It's tragic that despite a seemingly-fortunate recovery, he is acting this way (almost certainly due to no fault of his own!) and trying to reject those who are helping him.

I would think it's very hard to give good advice because part of the way you should handle it is based on how you normally relate to your father. So all I can do is say what I would do if this were my father.

I think others here are right, you have to get past the negative comments and paranoia and just continue to gently insist this is the best situation for him. I would, personally, add statements to the effect of when one is hospitalized and gravely injured, they must rely on family members who love them to look out for their best interest. To please trust me, I think the medical staff is doing an amazing job, and I'm keeping a close watch on what they're doing. That his recovery is miraculous (or whatever adjective you are comfortable with), and as long as they're succeeding he needs to trust you, and your mom et. al., and try to rest and relax. The more he does, the faster he can recover and get out of this uncomfortable situation.

Take all of his concerns seriously, but don't argue them point-by-point. Just keep reemphasizing the big picture and staying as positive as you can, as confident as you can in his treatment and the providers. Hopefully hearing that from ones he trusts (this goes back to what is your usual relationship) will break through the paranoia.

Good luck to him, you, and all the rest of your family in this difficult time!
Fbh
Member
(11-09-2017, 02:38 PM)
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First of all. I'm glad your dad is doing physically OK. I know people that have ended up in wheelchairs from much smaller accidents.


Can't say I've been through exactly the same but last year my grandma got hospitalized and needed to be operated because of a bleeding in her brain. During the next several weeks she wasn't herself. She started forgetting things, had conversations with people that weren't there, became somewhat agressive to some people like her Nurse (something I've never seen her do, she is on did the nicest and kindest people I know) and refused to eat the hospital food.


I don't think there is anything in particular you can do. You just need to be there and try to be supportive and make things comfortable for your dad. It's weird and heartbreaking to see a person you have known your whole life act completely different but whatever he does or says rember that it often isn't really him taking.
black_13
Member
(11-09-2017, 03:03 PM)
That's awful but the doctors are right in that he was lucky. Recently this guy I knew fell off a ladder and they ended up donating his organs.
Nere
Member
(11-09-2017, 04:19 PM)
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I don't have any advice to give, all I want to say is that I hope everything goes well for your father.
Mitsuda Maniac
Junior Member
(11-09-2017, 07:46 PM)
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Best of luck to your pops! Here's hoping for a speedy recovery. Sorry I don't have much advice to give.
blu
Wants the largest console games publisher to avoid Nintendo's platforms.
(11-09-2017, 09:17 PM)
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My dad went through a very similar accident -- falling off a roof. He was barely communicative when we visited him in the hospital the fist couple of times -- so strong where the painkillers. He was not quite himself until the hemorrhages in his head dissolved. He's been a normal person ever since. People, with some luck, are resilient beings -- give your dad time to recover.
keltickennedy
ah can't conversate
(11-09-2017, 09:24 PM)
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The strange behavior is probably due to the pain meds. You just gotta try to stay calm and be supportive.

I was in a bad car accident in 2011 and went through multiple surgeries. I was in the hospital for a month. They had me on pain meds and Dilaudid which is a super strong opiate. I remember there was a moment when I was super drugged out... I thought that my roommate and his friends visiting were planning on taking over the hospital floor with guns. Luckily I kept this to myself and just whispered it to my father who was able to calm me down.

Stay strong OP and I hope your Dad can make a full recovery.
Mayyhem
Member
(11-10-2017, 04:47 AM)
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Thank you everyone for the words. It helped my sanity tremendously to read your stories and advice. I am very sorry about those of you who went through similar things or even lost those who you love <3

On a more positive note, I visited him today and I seen a night and day difference mentally in just 24 hours. He is a strong guy. We joked and talked and he was in good spirits. Still not completely there but the progress is amazing to me. They had him finally slowly get up out of his bed today and sit in a chair beside it, the nurse said he is an absolute trooper. I left feeling great and I know we left him feeling positive too. It can only be up from here.

Thanks guys. Please hug your parents (heck, anyone that you hold dear) next time you see them.

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