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Very Berry Sunday
Member
(11-09-2017, 04:47 PM)
Such as if they're asking you to use your pickup truck, or they ask you to help them move (especially if they never helped you before).

Or if they go to you for free tech work, such as fixing their laptops full of malware.

Or if some random stranger asked to use your phone to call somebody.

Or if a family member of one of your "buddies" asked you to cosign a loan.
redfirm
Member
(11-09-2017, 04:54 PM)
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No.
Pejo
Member
(11-09-2017, 05:00 PM)
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This used to bug me a lot, especially "fixing" laptops for free for friends and family, and even worse just acquaintances. Ultimately you have to either say "sorry I'm busy, can't do it" or just suck it up and do it for them.

I still do free tech work from time to time for people, but I look at it as just evening out my karma since I usually hold people in utter contempt. Sometimes you can turn it into some free service that they'd be obligated to help you with later, etc.

The other option is just to talk like you were assuming they were going to pay you for the work, like "oh yea bro, I'll look at your laptop for you, how's $XX sound, fair?"
HammerOfThor
Member
(11-09-2017, 05:09 PM)
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It depends, are they your friends or family?

Just say "sorry, I don't want to me liable for anything bad that can happen" or ask them what day and when they tell you just say "let me check my schedule". No need to be rude, just sugar coat the no for people close to you.

For me personally, if someone is asking me to do development work for their "next Facebook" idea, I just listen to it in full, then tell them it would cost $xxx,xxx. If they get offended oh well, your idea is worhtless and if you want to see it executed you'll need to pay for it.
MC Safety
Member
(11-09-2017, 05:10 PM)
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I'm sorry, I don't work for free. If you want to engage my services, we can discuss a fair price.

If they're asking to borrow something, or to help them move for free I would say, I am not comfortable loaning X and I think you should hire professionals to move your stuff or do whatever.

Simple and direct is what's required. You don't even need the apology part.
GetSomeSponge
Member
(11-09-2017, 05:11 PM)
"I'm really busy with work I won't be able to fit it in"

Being a plumber, distant family who never even speak to me unless they want work doing are always asking me. It's normally some shit work that needs fixing that their husbands bodged and they never offer to pay. Don't get me wrong I have no problem helping people with small things or even doing the work in general if it's for close friends and family who I know are there for me when I need a favour.

The "I'm busy" excuse normally ends with a "well what about at the weekend" to which they just get a straight "no"
WorriedCitizen
Member
(11-09-2017, 05:26 PM)
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You just have to be honest at some point or they will keep bugging you forever. I still fix the PC for my parents if i can but refuse doing it for their friends as used to be the case. I told my parents that i hate doing this kind of work and that it stresses me out enough already if something is wrong with my own PC. Also told them that i don't care if their friends want to pay me because i already have a paying job and my time is better spent on that.
wvnative
Member
(11-09-2017, 05:36 PM)
I know a lot of people who have this problem. Can't say No even when it's a thieving meth addict who's beat them and threatened to kill them.

simple tutorial OP

Vlaphor
Member
(11-09-2017, 05:48 PM)
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I can do basic computer stuff for free, but that just means something like downloading and running MalwareBytes. I used to be happy to do computer work for free for friends, but that was before it was my job. I charge them for it now, but I'm willing to give good rates to friends.
Very Berry Sunday
Member
(11-09-2017, 05:58 PM)

Originally Posted by Vlaphor

I can do basic computer stuff for free, but that just means something like downloading and running MalwareBytes. I used to be happy to do computer work for free for friends, but that was before it was my job. I charge them for it now, but I'm willing to give good rates to friends.

What are good rates to friends, and your normal rates?
Zog
Junior Member
(11-09-2017, 06:13 PM)
Hi, I am new here.

I will do free computer repair for family but for friends I charge. I feel uncomfortable about charging but I know it has to be done unless I want to be taken advantage of. I strongly believe that you set your own value in situations like this and free labor devalues you.
yasu151
Member
(11-09-2017, 06:35 PM)
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If it's a friend or family, and you're willing to help for free, set boundaries. For me, that usually means time.

As an example, a friend asking for help moving. I will typically commit to 4 hours to assist. I tell them whether they want assistance packing boxes because nothing is done in advance, or lifting heavy furniture, they have me for that time period.

If they aren't a friend or family? Just say no, but with a smile, and move on.
MastAndo
Member
(11-09-2017, 06:43 PM)
It's really a case by case basis. I work in IT, so people kind of treat my like I'm always on the clock. If someone has been generous with me in the past, or doesn't ever really ask for much, I'll gladly help them out. Also, if I perhaps want or may want something from this person, I'll do it to earn points with them. If they don't fit any of this, I'll just give them suggestions on how to fix it.

I've gotten a bit ornery in my old age, so saying No isn't as difficult anymore. You just start to care less, and are less inclined to being forced into something you don't want to do.

For the record, I would never take a friend's or a family member's money for services. Buy me a beer or something, cool, but I'm not going to charge a fee - that just feels wrong to me.
Fbh
Member
(11-09-2017, 06:49 PM)
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Really depends. I think there is a difference between asking someone to do their job for free (make a logo or repair a PC) and asking someone for their time as a favor (helping someone move ) .

Something I do professionally I will only do for free for my close family (as in my parents and sister) to everyone else I explain that it's my job, there are costs involved (time, materials, etc) and I don't do it for free. I have no problem with giving good discounts to close friends as long as they don't take advantage of it.

Something like helping someone move. If it's a friend or family member I'll probably help. If it's someone I'm not close to (never been asked though) I think I'd just say I'm buys.
crisdecuba
Member
(11-09-2017, 07:28 PM)

Originally Posted by Very Berry Sunday

Such as if they're asking you to use your pickup truck, or they ask you to help them move (especially if they never helped you before).

Or if they go to you for free tech work, such as fixing their laptops full of malware.

Or if some random stranger asked to use your phone to call somebody.

Or if a family member of one of your "buddies" asked you to cosign a loan.

I feel differently about each of these, and for each one Iíll assume itís a friend (except for the cell phone one) and that i have time to do it.

Ask to borrow my pickup truck for a move: Sure.
Ask for help moving: Sure.
Fixing laptop: ďSure, Iíll take a look, and tell you how much time itíll take. If itís a long job i canít really do it, sorry.Ē
Random stranger and cell phone: Iíll go with my gut on how safe the person is and if yes, then Iíll dial the number for them, lock it while itís ringing, and give it to them.
Co-signing a loan: ďIím sorry, i canít. Itís too likely to create animosity between us.Ē ó and then if they get mad, Iíd say, ďsee? Animosity right there!Ē
soqquatto
#1 Destiny Fan. I love Bungie. Destiny is the greatest game ever made. Even if the thread I'm posting in isn't about Destiny, I'd really like to talk to you about Destiny. Wow, what a game. I'm blown away.
(11-09-2017, 07:54 PM)
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Originally Posted by Very Berry Sunday

Such as if they're asking you to use your pickup truck, or they ask you to help them move (especially if they never helped you before).

Or if they go to you for free tech work, such as fixing their laptops full of malware.


case by case basis. will never lend my car (especially now that I don't own one) but I can offer to help with a move if it's for someone I care for. random acquaintance/not a friend? won't. same for fixing a pc. if it's a friend, I'll do it. if it's close family, same.

Or if some random stranger asked to use your phone to call somebody.

nope. my phone has CC info, private mail, facebook, whatever. it's a single object that costs a lot of money. if it's life and death I can call in your place.

Or if a family member of one of your "buddies" asked you to cosign a loan.

you must be out of your mind. never get in debt for someone else.
Nester99
Member
(11-09-2017, 08:32 PM)
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ďSorry, that is not going to work for meĒ

You did not say no but the point still gets across
CadetMahoney
Member
(11-09-2017, 08:34 PM)
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I don't like being asked by family members to help fix the pc/whatever.

They don't like asking me what's good or what to buy.

They certainly won't give me the money to buy shit for them, but they run to me for help after they bought some piece of shit touchscreen garbage or whatever because they thought it was cool. fuck dat.
highrider
Member
(11-09-2017, 09:25 PM)
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I find it really easy, because theyíre usually cheap fucks trying to get over. The people that are worth helping seldomly ask.
Night Angel
Member
(11-09-2017, 09:28 PM)
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I just tell them no. Especially on the moving bit. I pay people to move me, I'm not moving anyone else for free.
Helen Keller the Musical
Junior Member
(11-09-2017, 09:44 PM)
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Well for one itís all about trust vs liability.

For instance I wouldnít let anyone borrow a vehicle unless Iím the one driving for insurance purposes.

I wouldnít let anyone borrow a phone these days because of how expensive they are, the content they hold, and generally because itís too important to lose especially if itís a stranger.

Lastly, fuck co-signing. Thatís such a high risk gamble. If the person even misses one payment, youíre fucked. Only co-sign if youíre able to completely take over the payments. But mostly just donít do it at all.

Basically just have some backbone to so No, fuck off.
family_guy
Member
(11-09-2017, 09:51 PM)
You compromise and say, "Buy me a few drinks or a meal in exchange."
Ubername
Member
(11-09-2017, 09:53 PM)
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Originally Posted by Helen Keller the Musical

Well for one itís all about trust vs liability.

For instance I wouldnít let anyone borrow a vehicle unless Iím the one driving for insurance purposes.

I wouldnít let anyone borrow a phone these days because of how expensive they are, the content they hold, and generally because itís too important to lose especially if itís a stranger.

Lastly, fuck co-signing. Thatís such a high risk gamble. If the person even misses one payment, youíre fucked. Only co-sign if youíre able to completely take over the payments. But mostly just donít do it at all.

Basically just have some backbone to so No, fuck off.

Yeah, its easy to give people a break when the consequences aren't staring you in the face but you basically have to be burned a few times before you realize that it's a bad idea to trust someone else with being an adult lol. I make mistakes like that all the time so why would I trust someone else do it better. You gotta just tell em you don't do that.
prag16
Member
(11-09-2017, 09:54 PM)
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Originally Posted by Very Berry Sunday

Such as if they're asking you to use your pickup truck, or they ask you to help them move (especially if they never helped you before).

Or if they go to you for free tech work, such as fixing their laptops full of malware.

Or if some random stranger asked to use your phone to call somebody.

Or if a family member of one of your "buddies" asked you to cosign a loan.

The last one is way more extreme than the others, and should just about ALWAYS be a no. Certainly not for a "buddy".

As far as fixing computer stuff, I'll help out immediate family and maybe a bit beyond that at times. Otherwise I'll generally put people off and they eventually take the hint.
AdanVC
Member
(11-09-2017, 10:02 PM)
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This happens pretty much 99% of the time when you're an artist that paint and draw. "Can you draw me plz?? "Such a cool artwork, can you give it to me plz??" I'm trying to pursuit a a career into this and it's extremely annoying when people ask that and expect me to do it for free. It sucks because even several people had stopped talking to me because I told them "No" But oh well. Screw them.
Loch Doun
Member
(11-09-2017, 10:12 PM)
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Co sign a loan? lol
Big difference between a simple favor and co signing a loan!
One Eyed Willy
Member
(11-09-2017, 10:53 PM)
I say No, also people only ask people for help when they know you're they type who will say yes. So the more you say No, the more people will stop coming to you.

I do photography on the side for my kids holiday photos etc.. and some close family. Every goddamn year, I have some friend of a friend reach out to me on FB asking if I'll do a family photo shoot. The answer is No, since I value my free time way more than the money. But on those rare occasions where I asked how much they were looking to spend, I would be shocked (I shouldn't be) when someone would offer to pay me $50 for a "quick photo in the park". l o l. If they went anywhere else they'd be paying hundreds of dollars, in my area up to $600-1000 depending on the shoot needs. $50 ...

I called one lady out about it and she acknowledged that it should cost about $650 for what she wanted, but she only wanted to pay $50 and thought I'd hook her up. Ya sure, I'll go burn a few hours commuting to your location of choice, spending an hour dealing with your children, and then an hour or two editing the shots all for $50.. SURE TOTALLY.
T.v
Member
(11-09-2017, 11:29 PM)
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Most favors I just say yes to. I've got nothing better to do usually, and whenever I'm asked, which is not often at all, it's by someone I know well so I don't mind.

Now, if I ever felt taken advantage of I'd have no problem saying no.
openrob
Member
(11-09-2017, 11:47 PM)
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Originally Posted by HammerOfThor

It depends, are they your friends or family?

Just say "sorry, I don't want to me liable for anything bad that can happen" or ask them what day and when they tell you just say "let me check my schedule". No need to be rude, just sugar coat the no for people close to you.

For me personally, if someone is asking me to do development work for their "next Facebook" idea, I just listen to it in full, then tell them it would cost $xxx,xxx. If they get offended oh well, your idea is worhtless and if you want to see it executed you'll need to pay for it.

Was going to say - bit the nail on the head before I even saw the username.

Mostly it's about valuing your time and skill. If someone is asking you to do something is because they don't have at least one of the two. If you need to provide that, you should charge £££.

Just say sure, I can but it will cost £XX.XX, or just say 'really sorry but I don't really have the time'.

Edit:
However, it's nice to do people favours when you know it would help. The problem lay in where they hassle you for something for free, but then turn around and pay someone else like it's nothing.
Reverse Giraffe
Junior Member
(11-09-2017, 11:58 PM)
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Wow. You have some really shitty friends if they've asked you to do all of those things.
SDCowboy
Member
(11-10-2017, 12:00 AM)
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Originally Posted by Very Berry Sunday

Such as if they're asking you to use your pickup truck, or they ask you to help them move (especially if they never helped you before).

lol I know this one. It's usually always family members for me, though, so I always say yes.
SSJ4Broly
Junior Member
(11-10-2017, 12:37 AM)
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Originally Posted by AdanVC

This happens pretty much 99% of the time when you're an artist that paint and draw. "Can you draw me plz?? "Such a cool artwork, can you give it to me plz??" I'm trying to pursuit a a career into this and it's extremely annoying when people ask that and expect me to do it for free. It sucks because even several people had stopped talking to me because I told them "No" But oh well. Screw them.

That really blows.

I have enough sense to ask for a commission which means I'll gladly be paying for their work.

People who ask favors without any return are garbage.
KahooTs
Member
(11-10-2017, 12:56 AM)
Begin with no, then why.
ipukespiders
Member
(11-10-2017, 12:59 AM)
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OP, are you afraid of confrontation? Either say "No" or "Fuck No". Pretty simple.
squallheart
Member
(11-10-2017, 02:08 AM)
I just give them the cholo look.
SSJ4Broly
Junior Member
(11-10-2017, 02:09 AM)
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Originally Posted by squallheart

I just give them the cholo look.

Lmao
luxsol
Member
(11-10-2017, 02:16 AM)
Either say NOPE or do it grudgingly with a healthy dose of suspicion/distrust. You don't want these people to keep asking you later on.

Better yet, expect and ask for a favor in return. This should keep them off your back later, if they think it's even worth the fair exchange in the first place.
nush
Junior Member
(11-10-2017, 02:53 AM)
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Either say no, or tell them how much it will cost them. If they try to make you feel guilty, then they are shitty people you don't want to be doing favors for anyway.
Freshmaker
I am Korean.
(11-10-2017, 03:11 AM)
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My boss asked me to help him get a new 4K into his house.

I agreed, asked him where he lived.

"Uh, I don't want to give that info out."

...
Shrubchicken
Junior Member
(11-10-2017, 04:28 AM)
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I try to consider the importance of the relationship to me. If it is super important to me, I will say "no" and give a reason.

Otherwise I say "no" or refuse to acknowledge the request. For me, being non-confrontational just induces stress.
superdeluxe
Member
(11-10-2017, 05:04 AM)
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I've had family members help with some manual labor (making a dump run, or helping put together a chicken coop), I usually end up taking them out for a nice steak dinner with adult beverages
MidgarBlowedUp
Member
(11-10-2017, 05:52 AM)
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Just become exceedingly efficient at fixing computers, or breaking them.
Seraph_Nicholas
Member
(11-10-2017, 07:00 AM)
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I used to have a problem with this, so I started asking for whatever sum of money would make the effort worthwhile to me. Set up your wifi? Give me a beer and you've got a deal. You want me to replace your laptop's LCD? $500.

Neither of those prices have anything to do with market rate for those services, and everything to do with how much of a pain in the ass it is for me personally. Sometimes, people will surprise you, and agree. In my experience, those pain-in-the-ass chores are a lot less grating when you're getting a wildly inflated payday. Sometimes just putting the job in money terms makes people creative about negotiating. In the laptop example above, that person would probably just go to a shop if I gave a flat 'no'. Once I set a (crazy) price, though, they look for ways to lower it, and the next thing you know, you find out that they just need a single file off the hard drive and I can hook it up to a monitor, copy the file, and receive a beer.

And they're always so pleased.
SonicXtreme
Member
(11-10-2017, 07:05 AM)
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strangers can fuck off in general in most situations (if someone was stranded i'd offer to make a call for them or something), but I don't see any reason why i'd ever say no to family or a friend as long as they're accommodating to my schedule. if they're not then too bad, but if i'm not held down by work or need to sleep i'd spend the whole day helping a buddy out for nothing, that's what life's all about (of course usually people are decent and will hook you up with some dinner or whatever anyway so i find 'bargaining' with friends for helping them move or pc help or something kind of strange)
PhantomZone
Member
(11-10-2017, 12:30 PM)
Just say no... time is valuable...............

People need to learn to compensate others if they want you to go out of your way for them.
xrnzaaas
Member
(11-10-2017, 12:45 PM)
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Rule number one - don't let any of your neighbors (unless they're hot ;)) find out you know something about computers. They simply don't realize that reinstalling Windows or cleaning their PC from all the malware is time consuming and complicated (and can get you into trouble if you end up deleting something important to them). I've actually stopped talking to one married couple because they couldn't understand me saying no and explaining that it's not a simple form of help from a neighbor you can get for free.
saltinekracka
Member
(11-10-2017, 01:06 PM)
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I generally try to be helpful if someone asks for my help. No need to get something in return, that's why it's called a favor. Don't be a jerk, help your friends and family.

Co-signing a loan is probably a bad idea though.
Breads
Member
(11-10-2017, 01:21 PM)
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I'm sorry.

(Not actually sorry)
Sosokrates
Member
(11-10-2017, 01:56 PM)
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Depends on the context

I will help a good friend or family member if I can. But if its a stranger I will help if theres no risk to me, lending a stranger your phone is high risk, I would not do that, but I would help an old lady cross the road or open the door for a woman with a pram.
matt360
Member
(11-10-2017, 02:56 PM)
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I think I can honestly say that none of my friends or family or coworkers would try to take advantage of me in that way. Every single one has or would offer some kind of compensation -- money, meals, beer, favors, etc.

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